Anita writes...pages of a telegraph

Who is Anita?...

Anita is a modern woman. She is a dreamer, an artist, and a poet that constantly lives in her imagination. Hopes to travel to meet somewhat poetic minds. Interests include music, photography, culture. Occasional melancholic account of getting by as a lonely single woman who is overwhelmed by a big city and tales of her deterred efforts to climb the socio-corporate ladder.

Interests: Moved to the Atlanta Midtown area. Quite enjoying what it feels like to live in the city and be close, literally close to the city and so far away from anything resembling suburbian life. With that trying to develop new interests, like coffeehouses, the best Starbucks, poetry readings, vintage stores, and "boutique-ing". I am still hoping on a career in international law so I suppose being close to the city helps, to experience whatever culture there is.

Reading: I actually have a Master's Degree. No Shit! The Degree sits in my cabinet with my undergraduate degree and law school certificate handed to me by the Supreme Court. None of them are framed. Why bother! That's just how I feel about it - all that work and no payoff. STILL NO PAYOFF. THE UN CAREER EVADES ME.

Listening: I just got Gavin DeGraw's new CD, aptly titled Gavin DeGraw. It is so not good. He just ruined the songs compared to hearing them live. Also, Sara Bareilles' Little Voice. The first song I responded to this year was "Love Song." And since then I became a fan. Her CD is a valiant effort, reminds me of Toby Lightman. Very moody, over-produced girly pop.

Watched: Just saw Keanu in Street Kings. Very Blah on everything except Keanu. He delivered a very controlled performance, more than I can say for Forest Whitaker. Seeing him with controlled rage on film is such a huge payoff for an Keanu fan. Too bad people didn't respond as well to the movie. Just saw Little Children on cable. Very amazing, factual, and in-your-face type of movie. It reminded me of American Beauty. Kate Winslet is a gem when she's in her element.

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Friday, August 18, 2006


When will I get a new job so I can stop selling assets like I am fucking Michael Jackson or even Ari Gold, who made that statement on Entourage and I thought it was funny until it applied to me.

A month later and I am still out of a job. With all the temp jobs and everything else in Atlanta, I have still been unable to get any fish nibbles. Last week a little bit but this week, not even a peep, no one wants to know who I am. And so I have sold quite a bit to raise money. I sold my dining set, my spa gift card, and now I am thinking of selling some of my black and white prints. All that to raise money. I have disconnected my cable and internet, currently using free month dial-up, yes it's that bad. I walk into my house and my TV is off, and I have watched all the DVD's at least twice.

So I ask once again, who is gonna take a shot and hire me, so I can stop selling my freaking assets.

I promise myself I wouldn't cry but I gave into it twice, three times if you count the tear that welled up in my eyes, while I sat at the bookstore today. It is sad, when your enemies triumph over you, when your deepest fears turn out not to be your paranoia, but true, it is sad, daunting like you should have trusted your sixth sense in the first place. It is devastating and infuriating.

I feel like this is the worst year of my freaking life. Something about your thirties that never gets easier, it just gets worse. Every freaking year it's been bad. You would think I would have a career by now, but instead I am unemployed and depressed and contemplating the razor, except I hate sharp objects and I did watch Constantine so I know the consequences of that.

I have nothing else to say.


drafted on 12:11:00 AM

aphie, is this the non-d'land you?
i certainly hope matters have improved since this entry. everything cycles back around. keep the faith.
xoxox theprocess
 
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