Who is Anita?...
Anita is a modern woman.
She is a dreamer, an artist, and a poet that constantly lives in her imagination. Hopes to travel to meet somewhat poetic minds.
Interests include music, photography, culture.
Occasional melancholic account of getting by as a lonely single woman who is overwhelmed by a big city and tales of her deterred efforts to climb the socio-corporate ladder.
Interests: Moved to the Atlanta Midtown area. Quite enjoying what it feels like to live in the city and be close, literally close to the city and so far away from anything resembling suburbian life. With that trying to develop new interests, like
coffeehouses, the best Starbucks, poetry readings, vintage stores, and "boutique-ing". I am still hoping on a career in international law so I suppose being close to the city helps, to experience whatever culture there is.
Reading: I actually have a Master's Degree. No Shit! The Degree sits in my cabinet with my undergraduate degree and law school certificate handed to me by the Supreme Court. None of them are framed. Why bother! That's just how I feel about it - all that work and
no payoff. STILL NO PAYOFF. THE UN CAREER EVADES ME.
Listening: I just got Gavin DeGraw's new CD, aptly titled Gavin DeGraw. It is so not good. He just ruined the songs compared to hearing them live. Also, Sara Bareilles' Little Voice. The first song I responded to this year was "Love Song." And since then I became a fan. Her CD is a valiant effort, reminds me of Toby Lightman. Very moody, over-produced girly pop.
Watched: Just saw Keanu in Street Kings. Very Blah on everything except Keanu. He delivered a very controlled performance, more than I can say for Forest Whitaker. Seeing him with controlled rage on film is such a huge payoff for an Keanu fan. Too bad people didn't respond as well to the movie. Just saw Little Children on cable. Very amazing, factual, and in-your-face type of movie. It reminded me of American Beauty. Kate Winslet
is a gem when she's in her element.
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Xmas 2006 Concert
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Sunday, March 27, 2005
Keanu Reeves is not a big advocate of the saying 'life begins at 40'. Instead The Matrix star has revealed that starting his fourth decade last year plunged him into a period of depression.According to Female First, the Hollywood actor felt enormously gloomy when he started to brood about how many years he had left on the planet.
"It was a nightmare," he admits. "It reminded me of adolescence and it felt like an internal transformation with physical aspect, like when your hormones run wild.
"But this time with a conscious shift, an awareness of your own mortality."
The Canadian-born actor hit 40 on September 2nd 2004.
I have not lost my sense of humor, or sense of self, though I feel it waning slightly. If this is a test of strength then I have failed, if this is a test of smarts then I have failed it even more. I can't help feeling the point is, there is no point. That's the thing with faint long winded failures and pitfalls in life, in hindsight, there really never is a point, people say, in ten years you will see the point, I am still trying to figure out the point to some others, and one more comes and shows its face. There is no point. I am just as Keanu was.
drafted on 9:10:00 PM
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Sunday, March 13, 2005
For the past month I have been reading one topic on my Individual Employment Law course outline: Discrimination. One word, a whole lotta work involved in it.
I have this saying, when someone tells me about something, a new task, a new field, or even a recruiter tries to explain job duties of a certain field, I often say to myself, "It is not rocket science. I am sure in some way, with some time I can figure it out."
This belief has made me strong to take on new tasks and accomplish them with prowess. Until I met something called Discrimination. It is not Rocket Science but it sure as hell feels like it. Wow! A whole month, and yet still I am not done. Granted the month has not been all well with everything that's going on in my life. But then, Discrimination text just will not go down with a glass of water, a glass of wine, anything at all. Geez!
I had an epiphany last weekend that that would be my last week unemployed. I don't feel that way about this week. I really don't. I wish I did. I want to. I really want to be employed. Just thinking about it gives me a headache. It's tiresome and weary.
Dear God, please let me work this out, the kinks, the battles, the questions, the self-doubt, the everything, give me strength to fight this battle and come out swinging. These I ask of you this day. In Jesus name, Amen.
drafted on 8:57:00 PM
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Friday, March 04, 2005
Well, 3 weeks later, and the earth has not moved. I am still unemployed and single and depressed and filled with angst and being rejected more times than before. I have signed up with a multitude of agencies. I have also done so much faxing, my fax machine is panting. But the earth has not moved. I feel like the devil has won. I know God must be saying, how defeated I feel. But I can't help feeling, this is what the devil wanted, and somehow it has happened, and he must be cheering somewhere filled with glee as I sob, and then, I am the one who believed in God. Yet the devil beat me.
My official deadline was March 15th, that is when I run out of money and the second round of bills have to be paidd. So far I am not meeting that deadline.
Yes, the devil won this time.
drafted on 10:15:00 AM
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